A room full of goldfish

The problem was that she could not remember from whence she had come from or what she was called. It is a difficult concept, struggling with the ambiguity of one’s existence, for a being who has lost their identity and past is often regarded with frank suspicion for trying so hard not to exist.

 In truth, the darkness that currently surrounded her was so enveloping in it’s totality that she had begun to doubt her own existence. Sensation is a reaffirming state of presence that we often take for granted. She persuaded herself that her consciousness was true and felt for her own face in the void. It was there.

 So was the sphinx that she surreptitiously tripped over as she was feeling her way. It lit up indignantly like a lightbulb and wrapped its tail closer to its body while scrutinising her intently.

 “You’re late,” was all it offered huffily by way of explanation.  Before she could respond with any of the befuddled guttural utterances that seemed befitting to the situation, it had arisen gracefully and had begun stalking off, tail slicing the air in irritation.

 She followed it because there was not much else to do, and because it was very rapidly withdrawing the comforting glow of light that it had brought with it.  It walked purposefully through endless, twisting corridors, which did not contain one whit of light apart from the sphinx.

It came to a surprising stop in a room that was remarkable at first glance mainly because it was lit. Otherwise it was a circular room, like the inside of a tower or turret with walls covered in plain plaster that completely surrounded its viewer. 

That was, until the sphinx gave a little cough. Then, alarmingly, a series of fine cracks in the wall began to widen. Each little aperture smoothly folded back its plaster sleeve with a series of little mechanical clicks to brazenly expose smooth elliptical shapes, each with a liquid quivering centre of iris and a darting secret inner circle of pupil. So, now where there was blank wall, now it was studded from floor to ceiling with large, uniformly sized, eyes.

She stood in the centre of the cylindrical room surrounded by eyes appraising her in every angle. She was like a child in their enveloping gaze with her arms folded behind her back shyly. 

“Have you the relevant paperwork?” One of them enquired of her in a booming voice, which seemed remarkable, considering it had no vocal apparatus. When she shook her head in confusion, several of them tutted and rolled in their sockets disapprovingly. “Well, how do you expect us to know you exist then?” it continued.

She was dumbfounded. Surely they could see her? 

“Firstly we must see your certification of Personage and Status, followed by the verification of your Abilities and Prowess in alphabetical order printed on a series of scrolls that are stamped and bear the letterhead of an expert trainer in those abilities. Of course next we need to see the verification of the trainer’s Abilities and Prowess in alphabetical order, and that of his trainer and so on and so forth”. 

“But surely that would result in an infinite amount of papers!” she protested. “And who would ever want to look at them anyway?”

“It protects us from scrutiny,” the eye said in a clipped voice. “And we have devised a series of committees to view, sort and file the evidenciary paperwork in order in a large subterranean crypt where it is safe, but which no-one is keeping an eye on because we can’t spare any because we have formed so many committees to watch you.”

“The thing is, if one of you turned out to be a radical deviant, then at least we would have the evidence that you were not, even if you were. Why, just the other day we saw a nice young man with an entire portfolio of scrolls, heaps and reams of them, all singing his praises- so all we had to do was help him along with his large sack of blood stained axes and he was on his way!”

“So it is alright to allow a person to acquire an entire armoury of weapons without asking questions?” 

“My dear, we had no evidence that they were even there, apart from that we could see them. Anyway, it would have been deemed discriminatory to exclude one from his chosen path merely because we felt it was against our principle to have weapons,” it continued.

“Go now, and stop bothering us. If you have nothing to show us, then you are nothing and therefore by that logic, do not exist. The sphinx will show you the way out and give you the necessary form to fill.”

They folded their plaster eyelids closed in resignation. 

Outside, the sphinx was waiting.